As I slump in my chair, crushed by the weight of the world, I ask… Why me? It is about time I start being honest with the world, I did not come to New Mexico to experience new life. I did not come because the school was everything I dreamed of. I came to escape and start over. Now why the fuck would I say something like that? Truth is whenever I think to myself why I went away to college, my subconscious tells me it is because I needed to get away. I suppressed the thought of that and came up with the reason known to mankind. But the truth is, I was exhausted. Tired of being fucked over, being played, and being chosen over. Some people even had the audacity to ask for my help as they fucked me over. Only a few people stayed true to me as they would never hurt me. The people I once called friends were nothing more than aquatints only looking to better themselves even if it ment sacrificing me in the process. I had been used, disrespected, and lied to and people expect me to keep in touch with them?! There are only a few people I will ever dare to call friends from that life I once lived. After all i went through on a daily basis people still expected me to be perfect, not to fuck up and hold up to everything I stood for. Because if I didn’t do it, God forbid they would have to put in effort. So now I stand once again a disappointment. I fucked up beyond recondition because apparently I was suppose to be perfect but I decided to shake things up. So I see a thousand “fuck you’s” and to be completely honest I’m a little comforted. Because It is usually the world being a dick to me, its about time I be a dick back. So for everyone I have ignored including the one who extends her middle finger for me, I’m sorry, I’m a dick. But I’m pretty sure there is someone out there for you cause I have shown it obviously Isn’t me. I am far from perfect and I rejoice in this fact. I lift my middle fingers to you world, I am done being your bitch.